everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
