i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
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If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
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I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
my liver is dry heaving
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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