genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
