Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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