you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
