Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize