That's intense
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
