i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
