just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
