I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
