Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
