I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
