Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
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so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
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I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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