My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
