Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
