Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
