My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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