We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The adults are the big ones right?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
