hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
