I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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