Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
