they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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