no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
