You're my little dorito
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
