Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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