idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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