How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
