maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
