I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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