I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
