dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
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