Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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