I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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