did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Green mimosas i think yes
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
