Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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