Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
