there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
