Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
