North Korea, Best Korea!
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
