Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
