i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Randomize
