Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
