yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
