God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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