so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
