kristin has been a bad kristin
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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