Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I need a beard to bite.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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