is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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