oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
