He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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