you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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