It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize