You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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