uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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