the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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