I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
BRING THE BAGELS
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
