Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
