Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
