i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We need to rekindle our bromance
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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