come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
