I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
